Welcome To The Beau Stevens Mentorship
“If you want an extraordinary jump in the quality of your life, you gotta set yourself up to win, you gotta set yourself up with a process that allows you to consistently grow, consistently enjoy your life and consistently produce the results that you’re really after. I don’t care what area of life you want to change, coaching is the most valuable tool in the world.”
– Tony Robbins
A Coach Who Cares
Hey man. I’m Beau Stevens. I strongly believe that if you’re going to take someone’s advice, it’s really important that you know who that person is and where they’re coming from. So, I’m going to tell you a bit about myself.
I’ve been aware of the pickup community since I was a high school freshman in 1999, but only began to hone my skills in 2003 as a college sophomore.
I could blame all my woman-related troubles on factors outside my control. In fact, for a long time that’s exactly what I did. (Take a guess at how far that got me.)
I grew up as an introverted only child. My mom “wore the pants” in the family and had little respect for my father, who was a nice guy. She was the main breadwinner and had a more dominant personality than my dad.
He was intelligent, funny, very physically attractive, and a great father to me. Despite all of his positive traits, the attraction was lost along the way.
My mom hung on for years despite her unhappiness and finally left just four days before my 10th birthday. My mom went on to begin dating almost immediately. My dad never recovered from the loss.
Physically, I was a late bloomer. I entered high school standing at 5’2” and weighing 103 lbs. My voice didn’t change until I was about 16. By the time I graduated, I was 5’10” and a whopping 125 lbs. In other words, I was a twig.
This messed with my confidence and I didn’t have any romantic success in high school. It’s not that I didn’t try. I just tried all the wrong things.
Things started to change a little after high school. I lost my virginity a month before my 18th birthday to some girl I’d never seen before and never saw again. (I have to admit there were perks to being in a band.) I also started lifting weights religiously.
Four months later, I got my first “real” girlfriend—meaning she was the first girlfriend I ever had sex with. I got a bad case of oneitis and drove her away over the course of 8 months.
I pined over her for another four months, until I had sex with another girl at one of my house parties. Instantly, my oneitis shifted from my ex to this poor girl. We “dated” (kind of…I guess) for about six weeks before she bailed.
After two very similar back-to-back experiences, it was clear to me that I was the common denominator. I knew I was doing something to turn these girls off. The problem was that I had no idea what I was doing wrong.
How could I course-correct when I don’t even know I was off-course?
All I knew is that I was ending up immediately friend-zoned, or girls who did like me would lose interest fast. I was determined to reinvent myself.
I started reading everything I could find online about pickup. I got heavy into Ross Jeffries’ “Speed Seduction” and NLP. I can’t imagine how awkward that shit must’ve been when I tried using “patterns” on girls. There was a big upside, though: I actually started talking to the opposite sex.
Not only that, but I was also getting dates. Of course, they didn’t go anywhere, but I was gaining experience and, while I didn’t know it back then, that’s what really mattered.
In a matter of months, I found myself a devout student of David DeAngelo. This was a game-changer because David D. pointed out traits and attitudes that are and, just as importantly, are not attractive to women.
I remember reading Double Your Dating and thinking, “This is the exact opposite of everything I ever thought I knew.”
For my whole life, I had been under the impression that all girls wanted a nice, attentive boyfriend as I would see in the movies. I thought that the last thing a woman wanted was to be with a man who had other priorities above and beyond her. Needless to say, I was clueless.
I put my newfound DYD knowledge to the test and, sure enough, I started seeing results. Granted, the pendulum swung too far in the other direction and I went from “sweet” to “abrasive”. Every technique I learned became my go-to. Teasing, for example, is great as a spice but overwhelming as the whole dish.
My 20s were laden with trial and error. I practiced every type of game, from social circle to online, to nightgame, to daygame. Each had its benefits and drawbacks. I realized that the real key to advancing in any area is consistency of action (plus feedback to correct any errors). Truth be told, my game didn’t advance much during that decade because I would do most of my practice during “breaks” or after breakups.
I dated one girl on and off for all of my 20s. Shortly after our 30th birthdays, I was met with a shit-or-get-off-the-pot type of situation. I was reluctant to get married, but at that point, I wasn’t playing to win so much as I was playing not to lose. We were engaged for 9 months. In the end, we went our separate ways. She was married to someone else just a few months later.
I hit online dating hard after that breakup. I used every online dating app I could find and saw quite a bit of success, despite my opinion that online dating is pretty fucking depressing. Not to mention that, when meeting these women in person, they always seemed to look quite a bit different from their photos…and not in the best way. The things you can do with angles and lighting… and photoshop in some cases. (Yes, this actually happened.)
Although I wasn’t dating any “10s,” I was quite satisfied with a variety of 7s and 8s. Eventually, I met a gorgeous Japanese woman on Plenty of Fish. She was a cut above the other women I had been dating. As a result, I not only lost interest in those women, I also lost interest in meeting new women as well. Our relationship was good for awhile…until it wasn’t.
We decided to take a break around the one-year mark. I used this opportunity to test the waters and see how I would fare in the world of the cold approach. This is when it became clear to me that pickup is like any skill in one particular way: if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.
Getting back into the game was more difficult than I had anticipated. Even though I had plenty of experience with women, I still found myself getting approach anxiety. It was so debilitating that I would usually find reasons (see: excuses) not to approach. Or, when I did approach, my anxiety set a negative precedent for the interaction. In other words, chicks got weirded-out. This was when I had to humble myself and ask for help.
I found Evolution Daily on YouTube and watched a handful of Aaron’s videos. I liked that his interactions were so…normal. There was no big show. Nothing flashy. And for fuck’s sake, no “routines”, “magic,” or “hypnotic patterns”.
Inspired by Aaron, I approached two different women and went on dates with both of them. I’m a big believer in the power of mentorship and accountability. “If I could get these results on my own, just imagine the possibilities if I were being mentored and held accountable,” I thought.
Shortly thereafter, I signed up for Aaron’s 5-Week Virtual Instruction Program. I took every piece of his advice and worked my ass off for those five weeks. The results were fucking insane. I gained such momentum in that time that I was afraid to take my foot off the gas. So, I signed up for another 16 weeks. Then another 16 weeks. And another 16 weeks.
Needless to say, the Japanese girl and I parted ways quite some time ago, and it was undoubtedly for the best. One of the reasons so many of us stick it out in bad relationships is our fear that we won’t be able to find someone else (without investing a tremendous amount of time and effort). We ask ourselves, “Is it worth it?” For many of us, we wouldn’t know what to say or do even if we did find someone better suited to us.
Prior to working with Aaron, I had exactly ZERO *ahem* ”closes” from day game. All my prior successes had come from social circle, online, and night game…and it wasn’t for a lack of trying; I’d put in some numbers over the years that had to be well into the triple digits.
Contrast that with just the first year of having a mentor. I approached over 1,000 women, went out with over 100, took home over 50, and had sealed the deal with over 25. There have been times where I had as many as a dozen different women on rotation, ranging from friends with benefits to multiple, concurrent long-term relationships.
I’ve also met some very special women and formed exclusive relationships. Coming from a place of abundance, these relationships are stronger and healthier than ever. Gone are the days of playing not to lose.
The more experience I’ve gained, the higher my standards have risen—both for myself and for people in my life. I’m friendlier, more outgoing, more direct, more honest, more driven, more confident, a better friend, a better family member, and a better lover…naturally. I decided that I had spent too much of my life being desperate, lonely, and depressed. I was tired of that shit. Something had to change, and nobody was going to change it for me.
Henry David Thoreau wrote in Walden, “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.”
I think we can also agree that that the mass of men live their lives without ever getting a mentor and taking responsibility for their destiny. There’s no better time than now.